Who they are ...

As a quick little update ... I thought I would share what we have learned thus far. The fun, the silly, the quirky, and the frustrating. Parenthood has been nice to Adam and I. We have had our own personal struggles arise and yet, parenthood has been full of grace. We often have to take our own "time outs" and our own "deep breaths" but nothing has been worse than what we could have expected. We try and approach so many things with a different view. Perhaps a view of "What if I was a child in Ghana. What if I had two people telling me how to do something, what to eat, what not to eat, what not to do, how I wear my clothes, how I take a bath, how to write my name, what noise to make and what noise not to make. What if I was trying so so hard and it just wasn't coming natural to me b/c I just wasn't from Ghana?" These are the shoes we try and walk in as we work with Anita and Maxwell. Because, if we're being honest, Anita and Maxwell simply ROCK! They are adjusting amazingly well and love life and love others. So much so that maybe Adam and I continue to place too much expectations b/c they are learning so quickly. We are learning too ... learning to step back and let them be "who they are!"
ANITA is a lively, strong, sensitive 6 yr. old. Her personality is very independent and yet she truly loves her friends, her cousins, and her family. Her smile brightens a room and her singing, well ... it's just "her personal singing."
What we've learned thus far:
- She sings LOUD in the car. Not to any specific tune ... just LOUD!
- If she wants to fall asleep ... she wants the music loud in the car.
- She loves pizza. She loves protein. Carbs simply come and go in her cravings.
- She can be very "drama." We joke that her name is Anita Drama Turner. "Little girl drama" has been aquired quickly.
- She likes to tell us about every single ailment, scratch, itch, bump, "pinning" she has. Parents are the magical doctors, right?
- She's very very smart and yet, doubts herself.
- She moves like a turtle. No really! She is slow! Slow at eating. Slow at dressing. Slow at brushing her teeth. There is no "speed" in her movements.
- She loves to sing "Stuck like glue." It is her favorite song.
- Mommy being even the least bit upset with her will cause a full on crying breakdown. She is very sensitive.
- She's already growing and it scares me. It's only been 11 weeks - can I stop the growth?
- She loves her Grandma, Poppie, Nana, and Grandpa ... she has a sincere love for her closest of family.
- I finally get mommy kisses and a big "I love you" smile at night!
- She's endured more than we may want to know and it reveals itself oh so often w/ the glimpse of her eyes.

MAXWELL is a full of life, solid (heavy), amusing, jokester, 4 yr. old. His personality is silly, joking, cuddly, bossy, and sincerely loving. He doesn't skip a beat and is rarely found not doing anything. He can scan a room faster than any child I've seen. He's our survivor and has done well at it!
What we've learned thus far:
- He can do amazing round offs. No seriously ... really good round offs!
- He WANTS to play football, we get asked every night.
- He can do perfect push ups ... likes to do those in the shower.
- He loves to jump, hop, donkey kick, roll, tumble, flip all across the floor ... just as long as he's MOVING!
- He loves to watch "Ants" (aka "Bug's Life"), Scoobey Doo, Mikey Mouse, Dora, and "Avatar."
- He has a sincere love for animals and it's fun to see. He really does love them.
- He soaks in every word from Daddy (so much more than Mommy.) Daddy is his hero.
- We still "off the light" and "on it" in lieu of "turning them off." LOL.
- He's afraid of the dark even though they had NO electricity in Ghana ... hmmmm...
- Falls asleep almost EVERY car ride he takes!
- Hearing "I love you Mommy" and feeling that little head on my shoulder, from my son is priceless!!!
We love our family. We love our gifts! We thank God for the children he has given us!!! The children they are!

"Minnie Mouse" for Christmas

The stores are quickly gearing up for Christmas! Halloween has come and gone ... who would know we have Thanksgiving in between with all the Christmas decor among us. Anita LOVES the decor ... I mean, REALLY REALLY LOVES the decor. She'll take in a deep breath and say "Oh mommy ... isn't it pretty? You buy me this ..." (as she points to a little little Christmas tree or Christmas bulb.) She really just wants to stand in the isles and stare ... it's all so magical, Mommy loves Christmas too!
Anita and Maxwell know Auntie Gina will be making the house "oh so pretty" for Christmas, I just don't think they really know, just how magical the Acosta-Turner house becomes! They are in for a very fun and magical Christmas as we celebrate Jesus' Birthday. Speaking of Jesus' Birthday ... Anita asks "Mommy, what day Christmas?" "December 25th." "Why?" "Because that is the day Jesus was born and it's His Birthday. Just like you have a Birthday except the whole world gets to celebrate Jesus' Birthday." "Oh ... Mommy Mommy, are we going to go up there (points to heaven) for his Birthday?" Smile with me, because that was priceless!!!
As we were shopping for clothes the other evening, Anita was in awe of the girl Christmas dresses. She really really wants one! She ran up to Adam and I and says "Mommy, I be Minnie Mouse for Christmas!" All I could do is laugh. "Ok mommy? I be Minnie Mouse." "Sweetie, we don't dress up for Christmas like we do Halloween." "But Mommy, come, come look at the pretty dress." As Adam continues to try and reason with her, she continues her heartfelt plea in order to have a dress and says "Ok mommy ... I be Cinderella for Christmas!" Are you laughing with me now? All I can do is smile, ear to ear! If she simply changed the character this would allow the dress purchase to be easier, right? She's not convinced we don't dress in character for Christmas but she is determined to obtain a pretty dress! They continue to fill my heart with joy!

My candy is plenty ... Halloween!

We are fully convinced Anita and Maxwell didn't understand what was going to happen or what the night of Halloween consisted of. We are pretty confident to think, they simply thought they got to wear costumes and we were going to a "partay!" Halloween has been advertised in American stores since the day Anita and Maxwell arrived. We have prepped them in what way we could, introducing them to the fun, the silly, and the scary ... thus, they wouldn't be completely shocked by it all. Costumes were going to be fun! After many explanations and pictures, Anita chose to be a "Fairy." Some days she was going to be "Tinkerbell" and others she was a "Fairy." No matter what, she could "FLY!" Too too cute. After much debate and shopping, I wanted my little man to be a chicken. (Wouldn't he have been the cutest?!?!) But, he was a soldier, and a handsome, cute one at that!! There is something very proud about being a soldier for a little boy, he waited long and hard to wear his outfit and continues to want to wear it everyday!
The days before Halloween were quite the count down. Every morning Anita would wake up and say, "What's today Mommy?" "Wednesday." "Sunday Halloween?" "Yes, Sunday, is Halloween." "Today Sunday?" As I laugh, I would smile and say "No, not yet." When Sunday arrived, they were ecstatic!! Couldn't wait ... As we drove to Grandma's house for Halloween, they just wanted to be in costume, nothing more but that. They got dressed, got their faces painted and we were ready for "Trick or Treating." We let them Trick or Treat at my parents first. They rang the doorbell and sweetly said "Trick or Treat" ... they were given candy and they said "thank you." Simple, right? And off we went to the next house. They repeated house after house. After about 10 houses, Maxwell says "Mommy, where we going?" "To the next house?" "Why, Mommy?" "To Trick or Treat." "But Mommy, my toffee is plenty, PLENTY Mommy." I just smiled ... another one of those sweet, "I love my children smiles." They loved the candy (or "toffee" as they would say) but didn't understand the overabundance of it all. Why were we insistent on making it overflow? Such is America right ... the land of plenty, the land of overabundance. Needless to say, Anita and Maxwell think Halloween will happen again next week and the week after that ... oh my!

"Mommy, I go to School?!?"

First week in America, Wednesday 9/08, Anita and I got dressed for school. I knew she wouldn't be staying but I needed to speak with them regarding enrollment and what we needed to do. She willingly went with me. As we drove to the school, she sat quietly and as I parked the car she quietly asked "Mommy, you leaving me?" "No, baby girl, Mommy is not leaving you here." The office had "heard" of us and were helpful. We were given the numerous forms to fill out and given a card for immunizations. Oh my - Kinder was already starting and Mommy had LOTS of work to do. As the Principal talked to her, she slowly began to shut down. She wouldn't even look at him. Fear was settling in, quickly. I knew it was time to go. As we drove away, she didn't stop talking and only got more and more hyper when we were home. What just happened? She shut down and once comfortable was a talking, singing, dancing, silly girl. I was learning her emotions by her actions. It was all fascinating and yet important to know how our little girl was communicating. We needed to be sensitive, we needed to love, we needed to be patient and yet, we needed to instill security, boundaries, and proper ways to treat people around us. All in due time. After naps and lunch ... Adam, Maxwell, Anita and I drove back to the school to drop off her paperwork. School had been released early. As we approached the office door, two Kinder teachers stood outside and turned to say hello. They both introduced themselves to A & M ... and from this point forward, this was their school! They were at peace with these two teachers. The principal walked by and new why we were there. He stepped away as the teachers interacted with A & M. When he came back, he told us she would be in Mrs. Kinney's class. And Mrs. Kinney was standing right there. She was so thrilled. She asked if Anita wanted to see her classroom ... this wasn't even a debate as we walked to her room. This small interaction meant so so much for the days to come ... how the blessings just continue! Anita was fascinated by the classroom. Running from spot to spot. Asking questions, staring in amazement. Her teacher was gentle, kind, and willing to understand her. Our hearts were happy (if that's even an emotion.)
As we completed physicals, immunizations, and more paperwork, we chose to finish out the week with no school and start fresh on Monday. Mommy and Anita would attend school together until all adjustments became easier. Monday, 09/13, 7:45 am came quickly. She was nervous. Excited but nervous. I was simply ecstatic for her. Luckily she missed one week and wasn't too far behind.

They "snuffed me!"

Anita and Maxwell's first night was overwhelming but not in the way I could have expected. We knew meeting the dogs was going to be scary but we had no idea as to the extent. The extended family and friends said their good-byes and allowed the children to now settle in their new home. We then decided we would try letting one of the dogs in the house. This simple act, well ... what used to be simple, brought on blood curdling screams by two children. Should someone be around and couldn't see what was happening, they just might think something was trying to severely hurt them. A & M would run to the table, scramble to the top, sit on it, scared for their lives and shout as loud as they possibly could! It was heart wrenching. It was purely awful in so many ways. No matter what we said or did, it did not alter their view of the pups in any way. Our dogs just stared at them, curious as to who these two new little faces were. As Adam and I tried and tried to somehow instill a sense of protection and that our dogs would not hurt them, it didn't matter. They simply screamed and cried and ran and shook with fear. There was nothing to change their feelings. Thus, I cried! Tears streamed down my face out of hurt, out of frustration (on many different levels) and simply because I couldn't get them to understand our dogs would not dare hurt them. I felt like my dogs were saying "Mom, you have been gone for a week and this is what happens when you come home? Mom ... what happened? We aren't scary." I just continued to cry silent tears trying to soak up what was happening this first night in America for Anita and Maxwell.

As the days passed, Adam and I were at a loss as to what to do. We had to do something. Being the new parents we are, we went with bribery. Perhaps not the brightest of ideas but it would prove to work in our favor. Two days later, we would let one dog in the house. If the kids would sit and not "shout" and allow the dogs to sniff them, they would get to go to the store and pick our a gift. This small promise instilled a confidence within A & M to try to be strong. It wasn't easy for them and they still had fear but they did it! And I wish there was someone there with a camera. Because the smile of accomplishment is priceless.

(Maxwell took this picture of Beau, his confidence is building!)

The second day of sniffing involved the same promise by Mommy and Daddy ... and this day just made us smile because as Madorie sniffed A & M, Anita looked up and proudly said "Mommy, she snuffed me! Mommy, she snuffed me!" It was as if she won a huge prize and yet she did it all on her own. My heart couldn't have been happier. The progress continued and it continues today. Two Barbies and two fire trucks later, the children will now allow the dogs to be in the house, will feed them, will walk with them, and will live with them. At one point during a fear fit I looked at Anita and said "Anita, sweetheart, the dogs live here, they live in our house ... everyone in America has dogs!" Her eyes just sank, she just stared at me as if to say "are you serious? I have to like this?!?!"

(Maxwell photographing Madorie.)

Maxwell has much more confidence with the dogs than Anita. Maxwell is almost fearless. Anita walks wearily and sometimes forgets she isn't afraid but she does well, given it's been less than 3 weeks. We are thankful for the prayers of confidence. Rainy wants to be their best friend, wants to play, and wants to steal their toys. She has decided their room is her new toy box. Oh my! Madorie just wants to be mama dog and hang out. They are most afraid of Madorie and yet, she is the sweetest one of them all. We think they are afraid of her b/c she pants the most. They don't understand doggie language so we are assuming b/c she pants and her teeth show, this is scary to them. They are learning, he he. And Beau, well, he just wants to sniff (or snuff, as Anita would say) and lay around. Being snuffed is simple now ... walking "around" the puppy piles is a little bit scary and a bit of a hurdle but their confidence is building. Each day brings more and more security with the puppies. They do enjoy them, they just aren't sure how and why. "Pets" are a new language ... they are adjusting, both kids and dogs.

Blogging ...

I've debated over and over on how to handle my blog updates. Having "time" is so different now. It's not a "bad different" it's just different. My exhaustion only comes at night. For the most part I'm having a blast running around with my munchkins. Waking up, eating breakfast, taking baths, getting dressed, off to school, learning with Maxwell, running errands, Maxwell taking a nap, eating lunch, playing, picking up Anita, more appointments, homework, learning, playing, eating dinner, settling down, greeting Daddy from work, reading a book, watching a movie, brushing our teeth, taking care of our hair, chatting, playing , packing lunches, packing snacks, and loving one another! The smiles and laughter continue. As we tuck them in, switch off the lights and lay with them till their breaths get heavy ... we tip toe out and we sigh as the day has been accomplished and we get to kiss them good night! It's a wonderful sigh, it's a peaceful sigh, it makes me smile. As I get myself ready for bed and I settle on the couch with the pups ... I pull open my laptop. I log on, read a few emails, scroll through Facebook, reply to what I can and then it suddenly happens ... my eyes shut. They are HEAVY, like weights. I want to write. I want to blog, I need to blog but my eyes just won't stay open. LOL. Adam looks at me and sweetly says "Hon, why don't you go to bed?"
So, I have decided, I'll write when I can and it may be random. But I need to write. I need to share. I want the children to have memories to look back on one day. If I don't log them, it will all just fly by ... Bare with me ... our adoption journey continues!

Mission Accomplished!!!

One week ago ... I had to feed them before we got on the "aeroplane" (as Maxwell would say.) We had one last meal of Jollof and Chicken. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 9:35. We arrived at the airport, at 7:15/7:30ish. It was packed! People everywhere! I had to explain to M & A they needed to be next to Mommy at all times ... I took a deep breath and silently said to myself "here goes nothing!" We quickly found the Delta check in and went through our first stage of suspicion, "Do you have proof they are your children?" "Yes." "Do you have the brown envelopes from the Embassy?" "Yes." On we went to the next stop ... same questions, same answers. As we reached the check in desk, the kids were in awe. They couldn't concentrate even if I wanted them too. They just kept staring. Loading the luggage on the conveyor was fascinating. Getting them to stay next to me was tough. We were handed our boarding tickets and asked to head to customs. As we approached, the officer asked the same questions as the first "Where are the children from? How long have I had them? Do they understand English?" I kindly answered and he asked the children direct questions. They answered them, with no prompting ... "Where are you going?" "America!" "Who is this with you?" "(With big smiles) Mommy!!!" I was then asked to turn around and take them to an immigration office. We walked in and sat down. They asked us for all the same documentation I had provided 3 times already. They asked me what orphanage we had adopted from, I answered. We were then excused. As we approached the customs window, same questions, same paperwork required. We were then asked to turn around and go out a different way, down a hallway, linking into a security line (basically cutting in front of a long line of people.) I'm not sure why, but I did as I was told. Well, this was going to be fun ... ugh ... security. Max's shoes off, Anita's shoes off, Max wait for the guard to tell you to go, Anita stand here and wait for Mommy, carry on through the conveyor, take out lap top, Mommy's shoes off, back pack on, M & A "wait for Mommy," shoes back on, laptop back in, don't stand in the way ... Ugh, that was tough! The little ones have no concept of lines and waiting or what they were even doing. LOL Our bags were checked one more time and we were asked to sit and wait to board. Within 5 minutes, we were on the bus, driving towards the plane. The kids were fascinated. Everything was so new, they couldn't stop staring. Getting them to focus was rough but we made it. As we walked onto the plane, our seats were not together. I sat them where they were assigned and had to explain I would be back. They happily obliged. Before take off, the 3 of us were in a row together. Whew! Thank you Delta! Right before take off, I gave them Benadryl. I know, I know, such a cheater, but 11 hours people, 11 hours!!! They slept about 9 1/2 of them, not comfortably or happily but they did it. I woke them up as they were serving breakfast ... they chose to eat the yogurt and that was pretty much it, LOL. Me too!
Our plane landed in Atlanta at 5:30 am. We went through customs and then were escorted to immigration. I had not idea what was going to happen in immigration so I went forward blindly. As I sat and sat and sat some more, I wondered how long it would really take? But then I just sat there in awe .. awe of how our US Immigration officers could be so rude to these people. I wanted to scream "they are human beings, can you treat them like one!!" As the hours passed and I watched our scheduled 8:30 flight be passed by, it was time to simply be patient. What else was I going to do? As 9:00/9:30 came, they called for the children. The officer said "we have our paperwork and here are their stamps for naturalization." Really!?!?! That's what I just sat 3 hours for ... a stamp?!!! Something that took you less than 5 minutes. Ugh!!!!
We then headed to the Delta desk b/c mommy had to get our tickets reissued. The Delta employee was very helpful and pleasant ... she placed on standby for the 11:00 flight and we were confirmed on the 2:50 flight. We had less than an hour to be at our stand by flight. I asked the kids to hold my one hand while I pulled the carry on w/ the other. They trustingly did so. As we approached the escalator, they just stared at it. I told them "When Mommy says go ... you need to go!" "One two three, go." And they walked. Maybe a little hesitant, but they did it and they rocked! They simply stared at the escalator, in awe of what they were on. Their faces were priceless. As we got upstairs, I quickly grabbed Popeye's chicken for the kids ... sticking to what they know!! They loved it! Mom was a hit. Sweet! We then headed to our stand by check in gate. Our names were on the list and as they boarded the plane, we watched our names get closer and closer and closer. The kids didn't understand but Mommy did. They took the last person and the 3 of us were left standing there. UGH! I wanted to cry and I did!
As I talked to Adam and released the tears, I sucked it up and we headed to a different terminal. There was no need to hurry, so we took our time. After coffee stops, several "wee wee" breaks, playing with mommy, and watching "cars," we were ready to board our flight!!! FOUR Hours, we would be home in four hours! Eeeekkk!!! As I buckled them in and got them ready for take off, it was quickly apparent the Benadryl was in full effect when we took off from Ghana. B/c as the plane prepared for take off in Atlanta, and we ascended into the air, the kids panicked and hung onto my arm tightly. They were obviously nervous. As time passed, Anita fell asleep but not little Maxwell. He was up and down in the seat. Pressing the TV, looking out the window, unbuckling his seat belt, buckling his seat belt, whimpering, on the floor, off the floor, ... he just couldn't settle. We were almost there. When we were 30 minutes out, I woke Anita up ... we were almost home!! I think I was ten times more excited than they were. As we walked out the gate, the first question asked "Mommy, is Daddy here?" "Yes! Daddy is here! ... lets go!" After a potty stop, we were on our way. "Where's Daddy? Mommy, where's Daddy?" "Keep moving! He's here." As we approached the escalator, I could see all of them! I wanted to run, but I couldn't. I just looked down at my two little faces and their smiles said it all. They could see their American Family and they just looked and grinned. They were in America and they couldn't wait to meet their new family and friends!!!