Maxwell'ism's"

I just had to write some of these down before they are lost and fade to memory. Maxwell and Anita have their own way of saying many of things. Maybe because they don't know any different or are still learning the English language, but either way, it makes us smile, and often laugh. So, to share a few ... here are some Maxwell"ism's."
- "Heggs" or Eggs?
- "Up steps" or Upstairs
- When my hair is curly, Maxwell says "Mommy's hair rasta." Others say "Farrah Fawcet."
- "Change my dress?" or Change my clothes?
- "I send it" or I want to bring it with me.
- "Knickers" are his pants
- "Urinate" and "Wee wee" have been replaced with "potty" & "pee pee"
- "Off it ... On it" or Turn it off and on?
- "Turn the music harder" or turn the music louder
- "Mommy, pass, pass!" ... Um, no, Mommy cannot just drive in the bike lane as she pleases.
- "cot" or cat
- "Mommy, let me SHOW you something." ... Mommy, let me TELL you something.

Anita is catching on all too quickly. Her mind is a sponge and she soaks every ounce in. Her Anita'ism's are far and few between now. She laughs at Maxwell when he says things. I smile and think "Oh little one, it wasn't but a few weeks ago, you were right there with him! LOL."

You look tired ...

So ... I often find myself now realizing my struggles. Perhaps it's "settling in" being a mom and all but I find my high energy and excitement fading at times. I have to work harder to stay positive with all those around me. I'm not sure how to pin point my feelings or where they are coming from but I thought I would just share what I could.
Since becoming a "mom" (because I had no kids of my own before) ... I hear the words "you look tired" a lot. Sometimes I want to reply and say "Wow, I must look like crap, thank you." In my head I'm thinking, do I really look that bad? ... If I do, I need to pull it together ... I don't want to look like an old run down mom ... and how am I really supposed to take this comment?!? I think it's started to wear on me and my spirit. I often want to hide and cry for a moment but I don't, I just keep going. I love being a mom. I love my children. Do I wish I had more moments of laughing and not disciplining or checking off the tasks for the night, YES!!! I do. But certain things have to get done and they won't get done on their own.
I have realized how much pressure I put on myself and how much I allow others to put on me. I don't always think others are doing it, I think it just happens that way. I want so badly for Maxwell and Anita to be "good kids" and "obey" when needed and "listen" like they are supposed to. And then I have to step back and realize how hard it really is. We (as their parents) don't want to be played as fools but we need to remember to have fun and enjoy who they are. There are many of times; car rides, dinner, lunch, playing, laughing are all interrupted with someone in time out or someone crying or someone upset b/c discipline took place. It makes for very awkward moments and frustrating feelings. I try to do discipline in private and not make situations difficult for others but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Adam and I weren't raised the same and we are learning this quickly. His verbal discipline is a lot different than mine. Frankly ... I just miss the joys of when they first got here and I'm trying to step back and remember those joys.
My kids are 4 and 6. They aren't 10, they aren't 15. They're little. And they're learning a lot a lot. They have to be reminded. They have to be loved. I wish all my words came out lovingly in lieu of anger. I wish I could hug them without fear they will "play out" the circumstance again. My heart was just heavy today ... I'm not feeling like a good mom. I'm feeling like a mom my kids don't want to be around b/c I'm too busy checking off the list of do's, homework, chores, how we act, don't act, manners, chores, laundry, chewing with our mouth closed, getting our hair done, making ourselves presentable, grocery shopping, etc ... why can't I just enjoy what's around me ... I want to be a good mom ... a loving mom full of joy who looks good. Not a mom who people say "Wow, you look tired!"

"Proud of You..."

I've been wanting to write about this for awhile ... I remember it vividly. I hear it in my head over and over and over. My dad hugged me tightly. So warm, so loving, so tight ... I just wanted to burst into to tears. Sometimes hugs do that. I had just endured 24 hours of travel, as a single mommy, in order to bring our little ones home. Exhausted, yes. Elated, yes. Excited, oh yes! But as I made my rounds upon our airport arrival, I approached my dad, he held my face and said "I love you honey. I am so so proud of you. You did it ..." (I cannot even write this without tears.) Those words play over and over in my head. My dad kept saying it "You did it. All on your own. I commend you."
When I left for Ghana, I simply didn't know if I was coming home with our children or not. As my survivor skills set in and the days played out we were blessed to be home within a week. Was I scared to travel home alone with two young children who had never set foot in an airport, let alone a plane? Not scared, but nervous. I remember being giddy to be home, excited to be where things were familiar ... to be with my family and friends. So elated to have everyone finally meet Anita and Maxwell. I don't think we always feel our exhaustion. And sometimes the exhaustion can be displayed in different ways but as we rode down the escalator there stood our family and friends! There stood my support, my prayers, and the love surrounding me. I vaguely remember people saying "you must be so tired." I don't remember feeling tired. And I don't remember feeling accomplished. But when my dad said those words they have seeped into my heart and embedded themselves strongly. My dad was proud of me! He really really was. He wanted me to be proud too. I did it - my mission was accomplished and I physically did it by myself. Reflecting has made me realize how important and how much it means to tell our children we are proud of them. There is something in those words ... something takes hold deep in our hearts and fills us up. We radiate with joy .. we radiate with a sense of purpose. "Proud of you honey ... very very proud of you!"

Who they are ...

As a quick little update ... I thought I would share what we have learned thus far. The fun, the silly, the quirky, and the frustrating. Parenthood has been nice to Adam and I. We have had our own personal struggles arise and yet, parenthood has been full of grace. We often have to take our own "time outs" and our own "deep breaths" but nothing has been worse than what we could have expected. We try and approach so many things with a different view. Perhaps a view of "What if I was a child in Ghana. What if I had two people telling me how to do something, what to eat, what not to eat, what not to do, how I wear my clothes, how I take a bath, how to write my name, what noise to make and what noise not to make. What if I was trying so so hard and it just wasn't coming natural to me b/c I just wasn't from Ghana?" These are the shoes we try and walk in as we work with Anita and Maxwell. Because, if we're being honest, Anita and Maxwell simply ROCK! They are adjusting amazingly well and love life and love others. So much so that maybe Adam and I continue to place too much expectations b/c they are learning so quickly. We are learning too ... learning to step back and let them be "who they are!"
ANITA is a lively, strong, sensitive 6 yr. old. Her personality is very independent and yet she truly loves her friends, her cousins, and her family. Her smile brightens a room and her singing, well ... it's just "her personal singing."
What we've learned thus far:
- She sings LOUD in the car. Not to any specific tune ... just LOUD!
- If she wants to fall asleep ... she wants the music loud in the car.
- She loves pizza. She loves protein. Carbs simply come and go in her cravings.
- She can be very "drama." We joke that her name is Anita Drama Turner. "Little girl drama" has been aquired quickly.
- She likes to tell us about every single ailment, scratch, itch, bump, "pinning" she has. Parents are the magical doctors, right?
- She's very very smart and yet, doubts herself.
- She moves like a turtle. No really! She is slow! Slow at eating. Slow at dressing. Slow at brushing her teeth. There is no "speed" in her movements.
- She loves to sing "Stuck like glue." It is her favorite song.
- Mommy being even the least bit upset with her will cause a full on crying breakdown. She is very sensitive.
- She's already growing and it scares me. It's only been 11 weeks - can I stop the growth?
- She loves her Grandma, Poppie, Nana, and Grandpa ... she has a sincere love for her closest of family.
- I finally get mommy kisses and a big "I love you" smile at night!
- She's endured more than we may want to know and it reveals itself oh so often w/ the glimpse of her eyes.

MAXWELL is a full of life, solid (heavy), amusing, jokester, 4 yr. old. His personality is silly, joking, cuddly, bossy, and sincerely loving. He doesn't skip a beat and is rarely found not doing anything. He can scan a room faster than any child I've seen. He's our survivor and has done well at it!
What we've learned thus far:
- He can do amazing round offs. No seriously ... really good round offs!
- He WANTS to play football, we get asked every night.
- He can do perfect push ups ... likes to do those in the shower.
- He loves to jump, hop, donkey kick, roll, tumble, flip all across the floor ... just as long as he's MOVING!
- He loves to watch "Ants" (aka "Bug's Life"), Scoobey Doo, Mikey Mouse, Dora, and "Avatar."
- He has a sincere love for animals and it's fun to see. He really does love them.
- He soaks in every word from Daddy (so much more than Mommy.) Daddy is his hero.
- We still "off the light" and "on it" in lieu of "turning them off." LOL.
- He's afraid of the dark even though they had NO electricity in Ghana ... hmmmm...
- Falls asleep almost EVERY car ride he takes!
- Hearing "I love you Mommy" and feeling that little head on my shoulder, from my son is priceless!!!
We love our family. We love our gifts! We thank God for the children he has given us!!! The children they are!

"Minnie Mouse" for Christmas

The stores are quickly gearing up for Christmas! Halloween has come and gone ... who would know we have Thanksgiving in between with all the Christmas decor among us. Anita LOVES the decor ... I mean, REALLY REALLY LOVES the decor. She'll take in a deep breath and say "Oh mommy ... isn't it pretty? You buy me this ..." (as she points to a little little Christmas tree or Christmas bulb.) She really just wants to stand in the isles and stare ... it's all so magical, Mommy loves Christmas too!
Anita and Maxwell know Auntie Gina will be making the house "oh so pretty" for Christmas, I just don't think they really know, just how magical the Acosta-Turner house becomes! They are in for a very fun and magical Christmas as we celebrate Jesus' Birthday. Speaking of Jesus' Birthday ... Anita asks "Mommy, what day Christmas?" "December 25th." "Why?" "Because that is the day Jesus was born and it's His Birthday. Just like you have a Birthday except the whole world gets to celebrate Jesus' Birthday." "Oh ... Mommy Mommy, are we going to go up there (points to heaven) for his Birthday?" Smile with me, because that was priceless!!!
As we were shopping for clothes the other evening, Anita was in awe of the girl Christmas dresses. She really really wants one! She ran up to Adam and I and says "Mommy, I be Minnie Mouse for Christmas!" All I could do is laugh. "Ok mommy? I be Minnie Mouse." "Sweetie, we don't dress up for Christmas like we do Halloween." "But Mommy, come, come look at the pretty dress." As Adam continues to try and reason with her, she continues her heartfelt plea in order to have a dress and says "Ok mommy ... I be Cinderella for Christmas!" Are you laughing with me now? All I can do is smile, ear to ear! If she simply changed the character this would allow the dress purchase to be easier, right? She's not convinced we don't dress in character for Christmas but she is determined to obtain a pretty dress! They continue to fill my heart with joy!

My candy is plenty ... Halloween!

We are fully convinced Anita and Maxwell didn't understand what was going to happen or what the night of Halloween consisted of. We are pretty confident to think, they simply thought they got to wear costumes and we were going to a "partay!" Halloween has been advertised in American stores since the day Anita and Maxwell arrived. We have prepped them in what way we could, introducing them to the fun, the silly, and the scary ... thus, they wouldn't be completely shocked by it all. Costumes were going to be fun! After many explanations and pictures, Anita chose to be a "Fairy." Some days she was going to be "Tinkerbell" and others she was a "Fairy." No matter what, she could "FLY!" Too too cute. After much debate and shopping, I wanted my little man to be a chicken. (Wouldn't he have been the cutest?!?!) But, he was a soldier, and a handsome, cute one at that!! There is something very proud about being a soldier for a little boy, he waited long and hard to wear his outfit and continues to want to wear it everyday!
The days before Halloween were quite the count down. Every morning Anita would wake up and say, "What's today Mommy?" "Wednesday." "Sunday Halloween?" "Yes, Sunday, is Halloween." "Today Sunday?" As I laugh, I would smile and say "No, not yet." When Sunday arrived, they were ecstatic!! Couldn't wait ... As we drove to Grandma's house for Halloween, they just wanted to be in costume, nothing more but that. They got dressed, got their faces painted and we were ready for "Trick or Treating." We let them Trick or Treat at my parents first. They rang the doorbell and sweetly said "Trick or Treat" ... they were given candy and they said "thank you." Simple, right? And off we went to the next house. They repeated house after house. After about 10 houses, Maxwell says "Mommy, where we going?" "To the next house?" "Why, Mommy?" "To Trick or Treat." "But Mommy, my toffee is plenty, PLENTY Mommy." I just smiled ... another one of those sweet, "I love my children smiles." They loved the candy (or "toffee" as they would say) but didn't understand the overabundance of it all. Why were we insistent on making it overflow? Such is America right ... the land of plenty, the land of overabundance. Needless to say, Anita and Maxwell think Halloween will happen again next week and the week after that ... oh my!

"Mommy, I go to School?!?"

First week in America, Wednesday 9/08, Anita and I got dressed for school. I knew she wouldn't be staying but I needed to speak with them regarding enrollment and what we needed to do. She willingly went with me. As we drove to the school, she sat quietly and as I parked the car she quietly asked "Mommy, you leaving me?" "No, baby girl, Mommy is not leaving you here." The office had "heard" of us and were helpful. We were given the numerous forms to fill out and given a card for immunizations. Oh my - Kinder was already starting and Mommy had LOTS of work to do. As the Principal talked to her, she slowly began to shut down. She wouldn't even look at him. Fear was settling in, quickly. I knew it was time to go. As we drove away, she didn't stop talking and only got more and more hyper when we were home. What just happened? She shut down and once comfortable was a talking, singing, dancing, silly girl. I was learning her emotions by her actions. It was all fascinating and yet important to know how our little girl was communicating. We needed to be sensitive, we needed to love, we needed to be patient and yet, we needed to instill security, boundaries, and proper ways to treat people around us. All in due time. After naps and lunch ... Adam, Maxwell, Anita and I drove back to the school to drop off her paperwork. School had been released early. As we approached the office door, two Kinder teachers stood outside and turned to say hello. They both introduced themselves to A & M ... and from this point forward, this was their school! They were at peace with these two teachers. The principal walked by and new why we were there. He stepped away as the teachers interacted with A & M. When he came back, he told us she would be in Mrs. Kinney's class. And Mrs. Kinney was standing right there. She was so thrilled. She asked if Anita wanted to see her classroom ... this wasn't even a debate as we walked to her room. This small interaction meant so so much for the days to come ... how the blessings just continue! Anita was fascinated by the classroom. Running from spot to spot. Asking questions, staring in amazement. Her teacher was gentle, kind, and willing to understand her. Our hearts were happy (if that's even an emotion.)
As we completed physicals, immunizations, and more paperwork, we chose to finish out the week with no school and start fresh on Monday. Mommy and Anita would attend school together until all adjustments became easier. Monday, 09/13, 7:45 am came quickly. She was nervous. Excited but nervous. I was simply ecstatic for her. Luckily she missed one week and wasn't too far behind.