Tough Day for Mommy, glad to have Daddy ...

Today was I600 day, for all 3 families here. The Majores, the Raanes, and us! I got up early this morning, prepped myself ahead and got ready before the kids got up (mama's learning, right?) Then they had their bath, which they love and we were dressed and ready "to eat." Eggs, oatmeal, toast, hot dog, and beans ... don't ask, it's Ghana but they ate it all and whatever crumbs we had on our plates. Because it was raining most the day, we then came back to the room to hang out until our appointment. Watched a movie, colored, and did what we could to attempt a nap. WELL, let's just say Mommy has learned the importance of nap time. LOL.
By the time lunch came and went, it was time to get dressed for the embassy. We had prepped the kids and they were ecstatic to wear their "socks" and embassy outfits. They were just as excited to see Uncle P. As all 3 families waited and 2:00pm approached (our appt. time) we all became more and more nervous. P called and said he wanted to only take 1 adult, so everything quickly changed and Adam was going to the embassy and I was staying with Anita and Maxwell. We didn't even have time to tell them when P walked in the door, they were ecstatic. He rushed in, said "we gotta go" and out they went. Maxwell and Anita lost it! Completely lost it.
And this is where it gets tough for me, even to write ... like the title says, "tough day for Mommy." I calmed both of them down, consoling and doing what I could. Not making much head way but doing what I could. Maxwell had gone to his friend Manny's room and Manny wanted to share his yogurt. Key word is "share." Not give, nor should Manny have to, but Maxwell doesn't understand sharing yet. As Manny said "you want to bite?" Maxwell folded his arms to flap and say an adamant "no," ran around the corner and started balling. I scooped him up and he started screaming. Literally balling. Then Anita was balling and I had two crying children with nothing to console them with. I tried looking for my room key but Adam had accidentally taken it with him. I had yogurt I could give them but I couldn't get in my room. All the hotel staff were doing what they could to stop them from crying, it just wasn't happening. One of the staff frantically started looking for a spare key and trying every key she could. As I sat their holding tight to my son thrashing and screaming "I want Daddy" and saying words I don't understand ... tears started falling. Streams of them. I lost it. I needed Adam and I was so lost at the moment. Nothing I did would take Maxwell's fear that one, his Daddy was coming back and two, he was going to get food again. Anita stared at me and instantly stopped crying once she saw tears on my face. (Culturally, adults don't generally cry in Ghana and children aren't really "allowed" to...) I was a sobbing mess. They finally got my room unlocked and I ran in with my two little ones. Once I had the yogurt in hand, the uncontrollable sobbing stopped but not for too long. We got down to the table, with spoons and we started eating yogurt but every time a single drop got on Maxwell's shirt, he lost it! Sobbing, so upset that his clothes were getting ruined. More tears would just well up and I would lose it again. Anita came over and hugged me and said "Mommy, don't cry. Maxwell, you make mommy cry!" I told her it was "ok" and "Mommy loves you." She just smiled and Maxwell continued on with smiles and yogurt with food in his hand. Whew! That was a tough one. I had no shoulder to cry on. I had no one I knew around me, I felt so alone and so lost. I can't take Maxwell and Anita's fears away and it breaks me. It breaks me that they simply get one bowl of porridge a day and thus, they are consuming as much as possible. So much so that their little stomachs protrude.
When Daddy got back, Anita says "Daddy, Maxwell made mommy cry!" I smiled and said "who else made mommy cry?" She shyly smiles and points to herself. All day she kept asking "Mommy, you going to cry?" I smiled and said "no." No matter what, we love our son and daughter. It breaks me knowing what they will return to, tomorrow night. Their fears, their taste of America, their hearts breaking not understanding why Mommy and Daddy have to leave. I pray for God to protect their hearts!
I'm so glad to have Adam with me! He instantly talked to them and smoothed out their feelings. He always steps in when I need him, I am so thankful to have him!!!! They respect Adam and they love him. Max literally will not leave his side, everything is "Daddy, you do." Anita giggles when she says "I love you Daddy." It's so cute.
Needless to say, after a few paperwork bumps, we got our I600 filed. Thank you for the prayers b/c we could have easily been asked to return a different day. Adam said we had a very patient woman ... God is awesome like that. YOU are awesome for praying for us! Blessings from Ghana!

Hand picked by God ...

So often as an adoptive parent you wonder how "this" child will fit into "my family." Will it work? Will it mesh? Are they meant for me? After watching Maxwell get dressed for two days, he is SO Adam's child. LOL. For those of you who know Adam and how picky he is, you will know where this is coming from. Maxwell is very particular about what he is wearing. LOVES his docksiders. And LOVES his watch!! Very picky about what shorts he's wearing and whether is the shirt he wants or not. It makes me giggle b/c it's so a mini me Adam. He gives us those little smirks constantly and it just makes us smile. He loves to sit with Daddy and cuddle before bed. Awesome little sleeper, such my handsome little man.
Anita is as girlie as it gets. She likes to share (as long as you ask.) Her and Auntie will get along fine! he he. She likes pink and purple and playing with her barbie. She likes her sparkle sandals and is always brushing her hair. She dances constantly, laughing and giggling the whole time. I've now figured out she absolutly HATES when mommy is upset with her. Me being upset causes her to break out in tears. Literally, curled up in a ball, tears falling. She'll cry for a little bit and I'll just hold her and tell her I love her. We explain why mommy was upset and she just hugs tightly. I love being a mommy!
We have our I600 in a few hours, I'll keep you posted. Lots of love from Ghana!

Our First Full Day!

Sunglasses are now "Spades," Going potty is now "wee wee." When they want to say no, they flap one or both of their arms like a chicken. Every adult male is "Daddy" as is every adult female is "Mommy." But all us parents are doing what we can to make others Uncle or Auntie. LOL. They don't know the understanding of choices, surely b/c they've never had a choice before. They're learning quickly.
But today made me tear up! Not from joy but from pure heartache watching our little boy. You see, as soon as Maxwell and Anita wake up, they say "we eat?" And we say yes. But eating has to happen right away or we are in for floods of tears. My poor little man is so afraid he will not eat, that he loses it while waiting. He will not share is food and gets super upset. But right before dinner tonight he lost it. Floods of tears streaming down his face. I had to explain "Daddy" was making his soup and he was coming soon. No matter what I did or said, tears just fell. When Max finally gained composure after talking and me just simply holding him, we sat back at the table and his food was there. To see the joy he has on his face while eating makes up for the tears before. My tears simply fell b/c my heart breaks knowing how important food is to him and he is sincerely, genuinely scared there will not be more! How tough it is for my 4 yr. old to know, there will always be more! To give you an idea of how important food is ... if Adam and I have a single crumb (and I do mean single) either Maxwell or Anita will ask if they can have it. Wasting food is not an option. Food on the ground is not acceptable, they will pick it up and eat it. Telling them no, is simply followed by a shocking look and they quickly put whatever it is in their mouth. Heart wrenching! Truly heart wrenching. We have to hide snacks b/c Max will want to eat them all whether he's full or not.
All 3 of us families went to the movies today. Watched Toy Story 3. The kids have never been, not really sure how they felt. Maxwell was much more concerned about having his "own" popcorn, there was no sharing with Daddy. Anita sat on my lap the whole time, anything dark or with scary music freaked her out.."mommy, I want to go home." "Mommy I have to go wee wee." "Mommy, it's getting late, we need to go home." Now the last one was pretty smart on her part. LOL. But she made it through and was as hyper as ever when we got out.
I love my children! I love them so much. I love giving them kisses. I love holding them when they want to be held. I love tucking them in. I love being a mommy. Adam is awesome with each one of them. So calm. Such a "Daddy." Maxwell is definitely clinging to him, follows him everywhere. He is our strong willed independent one and yet, hilarious at times. He struts when he walks and it's truly too funny. He struts more if he's wearing something he thinks he looks good in. Truly so cute!!
Anita is just as beautiful as we could all imagine. Her giggles will make you smile and she is genuinely a happy little girl. Loves her new clothes and toys. She'll give mommy and daddy these looks, sarcastic-pouty, looks and I just say "eh eh" and she bursts our with smiles. She's always clicking away with her tongue, gibbering and smiling and singing some more. I got to dance with her for a little bit and she thought that was hilarious! Oh my daughter, you don't even know the half of it!
I'm truly truly thankful God has given us these little gifts. I'm cherishing every moment, good, bad, fabulous, or trying. It's parenthood and seeing my little faces makes me smile! I could keep writing and writing but I probably should try to sleep some. Tomorrow is our I600 appt. with the Embassy. Please pray all things will go smoothly to file. We appreciate all the love that has been sent our way. Anita and Maxwell have seen lots of pictures from home and they simply ask "that's ours in America?" And we say "yes" and they smile. That's it, just smile as if you have made their entire day. I wish all the kids, young and old, in the foster home could have the same smile!!! I pray God will provide Mommy's and Daddy's for them too!

Finally Here!!

We made it! After 40 hours of travel, we are here. Percy was waiting at the airport for us ... such a nice nice man! He's younger than Adam and all the kids love him. We were taken to the Crystal Rose Hotel. The Coconut Grove hotel is full, due to some conference. We stayed one night at Crystal Rose and we are now at the Pentagon Hotel with 3 other families. Which is great for the kids b/c they have all been in the home together.
Let me back track ... P had us drop off our stuff and let us change (b/c we wore our clothes for 2 days, LOL.) We then went and picked up 2 other families and immediately were taken to the Foster Home!!! I was so excited, hard to explain what your feeling meeting you kids for the first time. The drive there reminded me a lot of Mexico, different but think "Mexico." There are goats everywhere! They roam like crazy and baby ones that I just want to scoop up. As we approached the home, I immediately recognized it from the pictures. As soon as the children saw the van, ALL the children started cheering. Now, if that doesn't make you smile, not sure what will!! I heard P say "Maxwell and Anita, your mommy and daddy are here!" As I walked out of the van, here came a little girl, in a red dress, w/ little puffs in in hair. She smiled and I said "Anita?" And she shyly nodded her head "yes!" I scooped her up and hugged her tightly. Then came Maxwell, with his serious face and I scooped him up too. No tears, I couldn't cry with how peaceful and happy I was to finally hug them. They wouldn't let Adam and I put them down for a good 30 minutes. They just wanted to be held and they would look at us and just smile. Truly a neat experience. It all felt so perfect and nice and peaceful.
All the other children stare, almost as if to say "it's not fair." And I guess I would feel the same if I was in their shoes. No matter what, the children are awesome! Very well behaved, very polite. The foster moms are very sweet, they sing and have an amazing handle on so many kids. Adam left w/ P to pick up snacks and rice. When he got back they gave each kid a soy chocolate milk (warm!) and "biscuits" which are crackers to us. They were ecstatic. The older toddler kids steal the little ones biscuits which obviously creates a crying fest. Very hard to watch! And yes, my son was one of the ones stealing!
So, the kids thus far ... they love to take a bath. Enjoyed getting their hair washed. Are fascinated by a sink and faucet. The light switches tend to be a game. Food is top priority at all times! Seriously, it is the first thing they say when they wake up, "I want to eat." We gave them some toys to play with and their own little bags from Eddy and Lydia (foster brother & sister from Oceanside.) When Maxwell wears his "spades" (sunglasses) and his docksiders, he litter ally struts when he walks. It makes us laugh. Anita loves her new clothes and the 4T dress fit her perfect. She has 6's on now and they're a little big but she doesn't care. 5T is too big for Max and 4T's are perfect, but with the little buttons, the 5T's work. Anita will break out singing all the time. And she Please and Thank you and being learned quickly!! LOL. Like I've said to many, our dog "Rainy" was preparing me for children! I believe it now. No matter what I can't stop hugging and kissing them. They love to snuggle when they're sleepy and love to be held, especially when they are sad or upset that we're not eating yet. I have shown many pictures to Anita and she almost has people recognized. She constantly mixes up Grandma and Auntie Gina's pictures, calls them both same thing or the opposite.
I didn't think motherhood would come so natural, but we seriously just move along at normal pace. They love "Daddy" and "Mommy." Maxwell already tries to be like Adam. They really are sweet and I'm cherishing every moment. I will upload pictures soon! Thank you for all your prayers ... we are thankful we were not flying on plane with a gas leak.
I will write more soon! Love from Ghana!!!

Delay

We boarded the plane at 10:45pm. Flight was scheduled to leave at 11:15. 12:15 came and went as we all sat in the plane at the terminal. And then 1:15am came and went ... 2 hours, no traveling ... and then we were asked to deboard the plane due to maintenance issues that were non-repairable at 2 in the morning!! The plane was very full, not a spot for anyone to sit. We had a Ghanaian gentleman sitting next to us and I loved it. Got to ask questions, he taught me how to say Max and Anita's middle name (which they don't call a "middle" name ...) but it was very cool. Found out which region the children are from and their native village dialect is probably Ewe. He could tell us this simply by reading their names. So cool!!!
Thankful God is watching over us!!!
Well ... we are off to the airport, AGAIN ... Pray for our safe travels!!!!

Jitters...

As our plane landed in Atlanta, GA ... I was overwhelmed with the jitters. Nerves. Excitement. Happiness. Not sure what to call it but the reality that I will have two little children within our possession within the next 24 hours somewhat caught up with me. It's all coming to fruition!!!
Our flight was good and now we're waiting for the next one, the long one straight to Ghana. Ghana! GHANA! Ahh! I'm going to be in Ghana. For all my CA friends, think of me when you wake up, we should be landing about then ... around 7:45am Friday PST, that is.
The airport is a fun place to people watch, so many faces, so many things to see and observe and to soak in. I've already seen Ghanaian children, how will I simply bring only two home?? LOL! I got to talk to my friends son, Gideon (foster brother to the kids,) he asked me to tell Max and Anita "he loves them" and "to give them a hug!" Will do little one, will do!!! More than you know!!

Packing and we're off ...

As we ran around and picked up the final items needed, it was time to pack! My friend laughed at me as I sat and debated what to bring my little ones ... yup, I'm a crazy mom with no idea of what I'm doing. But the best part of it ALL ... the power went out while we were right in the middle of packing our bags! That's right, NO light! Have to laugh at that ... just another bump in the road, but with all the flashlights Adam owns, well, we were back in business.
Now I'm exhausted, so so so tired and need to get a few hours of sleep. Then it's time to travel! You'll hear from me soon ... From Ghana!!!
Pray lots. Pray for our kids hearts! Pray for our strength and wisdom. God is awesome and we are so excited to be children of Him!